Have faith, ♥

The happiest girl in front of you might be the one who's hurt deepest when alone.

The worst problems came to life again yesterday. Why did you fucking have to mention that? Everytime we quarrel you mention that problem. You say you hurt alot; because you're human, you feel. Then am I not human? Do I seem not to hurt at all? Don't you know every single word you say hurts all the time? Do you know what you do all the time hurts worser than anything else? I know you hurt. I know you're at the worst situation. But I'm not any better. You hit me when you're upset and when I make you upset, and most of the time, you suddenly mention that. Why did you have to? You hit me, and you mention that. I cried not because of the pain of you hitting me. I don't mind you hitting me. You just triggered that memory that I wish to forget. Why? You speak as though it's my fault. Probably it was. But I don't know why. I didn't want that to happen. I miss the past where we were happy together. I miss the past where I really knew I could speak to you of any problem. Now? You still expect me to speak to you of all the problems I have. But do you think I can talk to you? Before I can finish even half my sentence of my problem you've already interrupted me at least twice. HOW DO I SPEAK TO YOU LIKE THIS? You only think you're right. You never seek my opinion and you want me to tell you my opinion. Let me know how. Please. It fucking hurts so badly. I can't even speak to anyone of this problem without shedding tears. For god sake you're not the only one who hurts. I HAVE FEELINGS AS WELL!

AND YOU. Motherfucking bastard. Root of problem. I can't bring myself to talk or look at you the way I used to look at you anymore. Why did you have to do that? You caused all of us misery. You lied. Countless times. And you still think that you're right. Full of yourself, you think that you're forever right. WAKE UP. FUCKING WAKE UP PLEASE. You're the one who's fucking at the most fault. And you want to push the blame to someone else and cause her pain. FUCK YOU! SCREW YOU UPSIDE DOWN. Every fucking time you trigger that fucking memory I just feel like screaming everything I've been bottling up in my heart at you. I felt like throwing the fucking heaviest chair at your head and break it. I want to see you in pain; all the pain that you caused us. Years has gone by and you're still at this? You fucking serious? And you expect me to fucking respect you. FUCK YOU. WAIT FOR ANOTHER 20 YEARS AND IT'S STILL NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. You trampled on the respect I had for you. Even the one that didn't want to leave. You forced every inch of respect I had for you to trickle away. It's okay. I'm not gonna care anymore. Here's a middle finger for you. _|_

Hi. :) Went to Republic Poly yesterday yet again for Romeo and Juliet. Rehearsed a couple of times and then went to Causeway Point for lunch, then Sabrina's house to do props, and piano pieces for Cheryl to play. I think it's a bit unreasonable to want Cheryl to be able to learn so many songs in a few weeks. Kinda unreasonable.

But anyway, Sabrina's house has this wonderful piano and me, Cheryl and Pamela were playing w it causing noise all the way. Hahahahahah.

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This all has to stop.